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Awkward Questions & a Crazy Brave Kiddo

August 17, 2011

We are getting ready to go back to school which means the boys both had to get physicals today. It is always interesting going to the doctor with your kids that came to you through adoption. For us, we know very little about their history so we cannot answer a lot of questions. I was able to get the boys’ insurance worked out so that they can go to the same doctor that I see (she is a family practice doctor). She was so supportive when I was in to get physicals done for both our foster care licensing and adoption approval. I was so excited for her to meet the boys today.

However, the office had residents working there and the one we got was, well, awkward. The first thing she said when she saw me and two boys was, “You are so young.” Granted, I am a little young to have a five and four-year old but it is not totally unheard of for someone my age to have preschoolers. She started asking me a bunch of questions. I explained that we finalized the boys adoption a few weeks ago. She asked me where they are from (Michigan) and how we got them (We were their foster parents and then we adopted them). Then she said to them,

A & D, who gave you those names?

They just stared at me and I said to them, “You’re first mommy gave you that name, didn’t she?” Then the resident said, “So, you adopted them from their parents?” I explained they were in foster care. I was afraid of where the questions might go from there. It is a whole different thing when you are answering questions in front of kids; I want to show them that adoption is nothing be ashamed of but that we don’t owe an explanation to everyone we meet just because they are curious. And, as in any situation, I want to model graciousness and good manners.

She continued on with her exam of them and the normal questions. She kept mentioning how cute they are (and who can blame her for that). Then, sort out of nowhere, she said,

They are so cute. Where did you find them?

I mean, really?!? Like I looked for them in a store or catalog. I pretty much ignored that question and decided that this woman knew nothing about foster care or adoption. The boys were mostly oblivious to her awkwardness and were fascinated by all the medical gear in the room.  Our regular doctor came in to say hi and was so nice and kind with the boys, treating them like the normal children that they are.

Even more amazing than the strange questions we were asked is my four-year old who received three shots and had blood drawn with no tears. The first shot, he merely said, “Oww.” The second shot, he laughed like it tickled. The third, a TB test, he watched and was fascinated by the bubble under his skin. And then for getting blood drawn he did not even flinch at the needle in his skin and watched the whole time as they took blood. He is four! He is crazy brave about this kind of stuff. I never watch when I get a shot or have blood drawn – ever! (You are all wondering how I’m going to deal with child-birth now, aren’t you? Trust me, so am I.)

So, that was our day today. Last night we had an amazing Adoption Party that I will share about when I get some pictures from those who were kind enough to bring cameras. Our boys are very loved.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. August 17, 2011 9:39 pm

    Ugh!! That’s all I can get out right now. Good job, mom. You are a gracious one:)

  2. April permalink
    August 20, 2011 3:46 pm

    Incredible! The questions in a not so good way and your son’s bravery in a great way! I once had a doctor ask me about our girls whom I explained were our wonderful foster children and he then asked, “What country are they from?”. Really??? I am tempted to print up some brochures explaining fostering and just hand them out when I get questions.

  3. Christine Krieger permalink
    August 23, 2011 11:57 am

    I’ve received questions in front of our foster sons and I can’t tell you how many times I just stare at someone, just not sure how to answer. The good thing is that I’ve found most people to be sensitive and ask their questions later, but there’s always a few………..!

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